Bad Habits? Bad Behavior? STOP IT!

We think everyone should watch the short classic comedy video from Mad TV at the link below. It stars the late great Bob Newhart as a therapist who offers his clients some extremely succinct advice when it comes to unwanted behaviors:

“STOP IT.”

 Click this link, watch the video, and prepare to laugh. 

Go ahead, we’ll wait right here. Watch the video right now, it only takes six minutes. But don’t forget to come back after you watch it!

OK, now that you have watched the video, consider this:

The advice might be simplistic, but it is not entirely wrong. 

Now before you start to get angry, hear us out.

We are not saying that you can cure a lifetime of bad habits and self-destructive patterns with this phrase. But we are saying you can use it as a tool to stop yourself in your tracks when you find you’re heading in the wrong direction. 

Use this phrase on a temporary basis to halt backsliding or negative progress, and to get you through a crisis situation that might otherwise develop into a far bigger deal than it needs to be. 

Yes, you should absolutely revisit the bigger picture issue and develop tools and strategies for dealing with it.  This is where a good therapist or even a qualified career coach can help.  But in the moment:

Stop it! 

Get used to firmly telling yourself to “stop it.” Use the phrase to halt whatever you are doing and check yourself in the moment.   You might just be amazed at the results. 

You can even use this helpful phrase to make a bargain with yourself to avoid an immediate unwanted outcome.  In other words, give yourself a deadline.  You don’t have to “stop it” forever, but especially if you are at work, you know you need to “stop it” now.

So buck up and force yourself to do it. You can even try hearing the words in Bob Newhart’s voice, which is even more apt to lighten your mood in the moment and even make you smile.

Real Life Examples of “Stop It” in Action

It might sound silly but it works. Here are two actual examples of ND individuals we know who have used some variation of the “Stop It” technique in their job and business (the names have been changed for privacy):

•  Sadie had issues with being overly emotional at work and would frequently find herself breaking down into tears at inopportune moments. This quality tended to make her coworkers uncomfortable and it was causing some tensions on the job.  So whenever she found the tears coming on, she started telling herself to just “stop it,” while mentally giving herself permission to think about whatever was upsetting her later and even have a cry if she needed, when she was alone during her lunch break or at home.  It worked (most of the time anyway). Also, by giving herself permission to deal with it later, she gave herself permission to productively go back to work and then think things through more calmly later, rather than reacting emotionally in the moment.
  

• Jeannie, an online course creator, was good at large projects but found that her obsessive hyper focus could lead to burnout that put her on the verge of meltdowns, especially when a big project was nearing completion.  Creating huge six-figure course launches consumed nearly ALL of her time, however, they were extremely lucrative. When Jeannie was circling the burnout drain she would tell herself to just stop it, knowing that the business model she created involved intense work for relatively short periods. She knew she would only have to get through another week or two to complete the project and earn enough income to take the next six months off for self care. 

Of course, Sadie needs to address the source of her excessive emotions and the real life Sadie is indeed doing that in therapy. But in the moment, “Stop It,” has helped Sadie manage those emotional outbursts.

Jeannie was well aware of her ND challenges when she started her business and she structured her entire business model around her neurodivergent strength of managing large projects with lots of moving parts, and her fundamental need for the freedom to take substantial amounts of time off in order to avoid burnout.  While other entrepreneurs were motivated by fancy cars and lavish vacations, Jeannie was motivated by simply having the freedom to allow herself the time for healing and self-care that she knew she regularly needed. 

Jeannie would only undertake a new project when she felt she was in a mental space to handle the challenge. The financial freedom she achieved by working so intensely in the short term allowed for that. But once a project was underway and the pressure was on, “stop it,” helped her to get through many a crisis.